Save Our Spirits

Dedicated to helping you get in touch with your spirit and with life again.
Dedicated to promoting wellness and a sense of being whole in all areas of our lives.
Dedicated to helping people live their lives joyfully, strongly, fully and freely.

Become whole. Become who you are in the here and now.
Become who you were created to be - a reflection of love.
   Heal your body.      Heal your mind.      Heal your soul.



Please know that my heart feels compassion and understanding for anyone considering this option in their life or who has had an abortion. I know what it feels like in some ways for I had one but I also feel compelled to write about this subject and share some insights and experiences. It might take me some time  to put into kind and compassionate words a very difficult subject to talk about for so many women and men.

This was one wound, and perhaps the deepest one, that never seemed to heal, no matter how much I tried and how many layers God and I looked at or corners delved into. It healed slowly, with the love and care of my Father and Christ, but it took a long time for me but it feels healed now. A coming together of the masculine love of God and the feminine love of church and myself coming together for healing in the heart and the body and the mind, all over.

I am not trying to cause anyone additional pain but for some of us, here is a hard subject to talk about and it is abortion. I speak from experience here - had one when I was 21 and doing everything I could not to get pregnant - birth control at all times - pregnancy while using the birth control pill but whatever the reason and why and how, this is still a traumatic event for many women and perhaps one of the most difficult decisions women will make for many reasons. I do have compassion and understanding for everyone who has made the choice to have an abortion but my experiences tell me that we might want to rethink this choice in some ways.


God seems to give me what I need even if I do not realize it at the time. Looking back, I realize that God was sending me love when I got pregnant (despite my best efforts NOT to have a child at the time). He was sending me someone to teach me about love and to help me open my heart again but I could not see it at the time. The abortion is the one thing in my life that I would take back if I could. Although God has forgiven me and I have forgiven myself, it remains the one thing I would never do again and would take back if I could do things all over again. The guilt that I felt over the abortion is one of the reasons I ran away from God and the church and also one of the reasons I needed my Father so much. Life has also come full circle in that I returned to God in the same church where I left. He forgives me and washes me clean and gives me his mercy and grace and chances to do it all differently from that moment. His unconditional love heals and frees me. I surrender the pain in my heart and His love washes it all away.

I do plan to write more on this subject later because I feel it is hugely important and that we do not realize what we are doing to ourselves or to others but I do urge anyone, men and women both, to seriously consider other options such as adoption before abortion.
God takes care of these little ones but there are millions of small souls in Heaven as I have seen and been shown and we hurt our hearts and souls with this choice in a huge way. I don't know how much damage it all does and maybe only God knows but He does seem to know how much sin will hurt us when He gives us guidelines, laws or rules like the 10 commandments. Thou shalt not kill is one of them and when we violate this commandment we can hurt our own soul tremendously, not to mention another soul at the same time.

Energetically speaking - life begins at conception

Life is a gift from God whether it seems like it or not at the time. When we have an abortion, these are not just bits and pieces of tissue that we are removing from our bodies and our lives
Everything that I have seen from working with the energies in my body tells me and shows me that from the moment of conception when life is created and God grants life and gives life to creation, there is a soul alive in that small child in the womb. There is a soul in children from the moment of conception and an abortion takes the life of a human soul. No easy way to say this at all but ... abortion takes a life. It is killing an innocent child. For years afterwards there was a darkness and depression in the womb area of my body and a sadness in my heart and my life that never went away. As I released the energy from my body I felt the energies come out of my body and the tiny soul struggling so desperately for life in the womb as he was being torn out by the surgeon's instruments. As that tiny life left my body, death entered because I had chosen death instead of life, going against God and His love for us.

I actually died on the operating table but Father would not let me stay with Him and I had to come back into my body. I was with Him looking down at the operating room. I had died or wanted to leave because I could not stand the emotional pain from the abortion, but it was too late by the time I realized what  I was really doing. In my instance, the abortion took two lives, because after I had done it, I felt that I did not deserve to have a happy life. I felt that I had done something no mother should ever do or have to do, no matter what the reason(s). I have recovered my life and my heart but for about 25-30 years I also felt that I did not deserve a life because I took one.

Hard subject I know and I welcome others input about different situations and why people made their choices so that we can put up some info here about getting to the causes and helping women who have had abortions to heal.

We may not go to jail for having abortions, but prisons don't always have four walls.

  Our beloved Heavenly Father showed me that there are millions of these tiny souls in Heaven that He watches over and cares for and they are the souls of the babies that have been aborted.  When He showed them to me, they pretty much looked just like this except that they had little gold and white jumpsuits on instead of just a diaper and no little hat. They were all playing together. One of them was the soul of the child that I aborted. I was both blessed and heartbroken by this revelation at the same time. Thankful that he was in the care of my Heavenly Father and heartbroken that I couldn't get past my fears or reasons or justifications as to why I could not have a child at that time and chose abortion instead of adoption. Father forgives me and does not judge me and He offers me a clean slate but He also showed me all these children for a reason.  Know that you are loved so very much as are the souls of these babies. I think that one of the reasons that I chose abortion was that I myself did not feel loved or know how to love and so I cared little for my life or others. As God as shown me over the years how to love again and that I am loved so very dearly by Him and by His son, I now have a desire for life and more respect for my own life and those of others. I now choose life and to help others learn to live again. We are all loved so very much by our Heavenly Father.

I have seen from time to time, very poor and poverty stricken families who  have children without any real means of supporting or feeding them but I did notice that some of them have so much LOVE to give and share with these children. They don't have any material goods but they have love to share with their kids.


Adoption – this would ease or eliminate any guilt about taking a life and be one possible solution.


Ladies, each and every one of us has a Christ child to be birthed inside of us - when you are ready.


I look to the Blessed Mother of Jesus as the best example for my own life as to how to birth a Christ child. I did not have children but this web site and my books and the work I try to do for God, as well as having a personal and intimate relationship with Jesus, are how I birthed the Christ child inside of me. It is also life given from God to me that comes out of that personal relationship with Father and Christ that is the Christ child inside of me.



For all of those who want to stop abortions - help women and young girls get to the causes of why they are having abortions. If we can help our society to heal some of our wounds and our difficulties then the number of abortions will decrease. 


Help them grow up emotionally and get to the causes of why they are having abortions. Help educate people. Help them out of poverty and abusive situations. Help them find a connection with themselves and with God. Give them some hope. Help stop rapes, child sexual abuse, trafficking and teenage prostitution. Help kids have better self-esteem and to set boundaries so that they can resist predators. How about helping children feel loved and supported so that they aren't looking for love and attention elsewhere at a young age.

Talk to your kids about sex instead of letting them find out about it on their own. Tell them about the consequences of having sex instead of remaining silent on the issue. Help them understand the value of a loving and committed relationship and how to work with a partner. Teach kids about sex, love and relationships.

Talk to them about the benefits of abstinence and developing friendships with potential partners instead of focusing on a sexual relationship. 

Help to have parenting classes and marriage counseling/informational classes available to  young adults or anyone interested so they have a better idea of what marriage and being a parent is all about. Ask women and girls what they need.

Abortions are seen as the problem but they are really only a symptom of something larger. Stop the causes and you stop the "problem."


“The Bible and Abortion: What Does God Say?” compiled by Doug Britton, MFT

“God and Abortion and Forgiveness.”

“The Pros and Cons of Abortion [and consulting God].”



Trish Short - composer of The Divine Mercy Chaplet in Song and who found forgiveness and healing with God after two abortions.            The Chaplet of Divine Mercy in Song (complete)

Trish grew up in a large family that struggled through the brokenness of divorce, alcoholism, depression and addiction.  Tragically, it was the final aftermath of two abortions as a very young woman that lead Trish to The Chaplet of Divine Mercy. “Many years later, when I first came to acknowledge the death of my children I could not do enough to try to earn forgiveness. Completely burned out, I felt I was dying deep inside. One day I was asked to testify as a post-abortive woman before the Senate Healthcare Committee in support of ‘The Woman’s Right to Know Act.’  Afterward, I fell apart, and a concerned friend introduced me to the Chaplet of Divine Mercy.  Kneeling in my bedroom I prayed it for the first time and remembered my two children lost to abortion. Reciting the words of the Chaplet truly opened my heart. Once blinded by shame and condemnation, I hadn’t realized that God’s mercy was greater than my sin. Now when I extend His mercy by imploring His powerful words, it reminds me that as a Christian I am called to intercede and care for others. At the same time, I know it is also a personal prayer.  As Jesus continues to bring restoration and healing to my life, the Chaplet will forever be for me His song of mercy.”

For us Catholics especially and anyone who might find healing and solace here.


Some possible resources:

Rachel's Vineyard is a safe place to renew, rebuild and redeem hearts broken by abortion. Weekend retreats offer you a supportive, confidential and non-judgmental environment where women and men can express, release and reconcile painful post-abortive emotions to begin the process of restoration, renewal and healing.


Take a peek at and order the following books on the site:

Forbidden Grief: The Unspoken Pain of Abortion    

Redeeming a Father's Heart
Men Share Powerful Stories of Abortion Loss and Recovery

Sharing the Heart of Christ

The nature of abortion trauma requires a team approach to treatment with Clergy, Counselors and Laity working together. In this book, abortion is presented as a relational wound exploring the effects on Marriage and family life and special chapters address unique issues for clergy in their ministry. This book is for Priests, Deacons, Counselors and Laity in ministry to those suffering after abortion and in need of emotional and spiritual healing..




Adoption – this would ease or eliminate any guilt about taking a life and be one possible solution.



 I have found in my own life that if I put in lighter and more Godly energies then it is easier to stay in a place where I am connected with God and with Christ. Our holy medals, crosses and crucifixes help protect us as well. Prayer is a very powerful protector. In the Catholic tradition, the Hail Mary is a powerful strengthener of the lower part of the body and the Our Father is a powerful strengthener of the upper body. As more and more of the joy of Christ fills my heart and body, my spirit feels more free and more connected to God. We literally do put on a new man or Christ as we connect to God. He holds us like a prayer and protects us from harm with His love, mercy and grace.


the Our Father 

            Our Father, who art in heaven,
            hallowed be thy name;
            thy kingdom come, thy will be done,
            on earth as it is in heaven.
            Give us this day our daily bread
            and forgive us our trespasses,
            as we forgive those who trespass against us;
            and lead us not into temptation,
            but deliver us from evil.


Here is the Hail Mary for those that might be interested:

            Hail Mary, full of grace,
            the Lord is with thee.
            Blessed art thou among women
            and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
            Holy Mary, Mother of God,
            pray for us sinners
            now and at the hour of our death, Amen.


                                            Eric Clapton & Luciano Pavarotti - Holy Mother (Live 1996) 


        One possible way to help make amends.         Supplies for making pro-life rosaries.              Rosary of the Unborn (Pro-life Rosary)            Pro-Life Rosary Part 1



If you get anything, please understand that when God gives us rules to live by and obey, that He is trying to save our lives.

Even if we don’t understand or are confused, it really comes down to whether or not we are going to listen to Him and obey – or continue to do it our way. Sin can most definitely be a matter of life and death, especially when it comes to our sexuality. The sacral center and the sexual organs are very important to our physical and spiritual lives. Who controls it and under whose will we follow is very important. Continually choosing our will and our pleasure over others and over God’s will is to choose spiritual death and it can and does happen.

 If we listen to Him and obey, He can and does lead us through the confusion and pain and suffering into the light of day. In my own life, I also found that He answers my questions and clears up confusion. Maybe not right away, but the answers do come to me in God’s way and with His timing.


The church that I ran from now gives me much needed refuge and sanctuary and is a place where God is present. The nicest thing though, is that He is always with me, because my connection with Him is in my own heart. I feel Him with me all of the time, wherever I am and wherever I go. Father and Jesus are the ones who have healed my heart of this wound that never healed. They are the ones whose love is the soothing balm and relief I so desperately needed. God is who I needed to help me heal my wounded heart and soul. Nothing and nobody else will do and they are where my heart and soul find rest and peace in the midst of the turmoil of this world. Their love is what feeds me.


I didn't realize just how much energy it was taking from my life and my body to hold this wound down, even though I had already released many layers with God's help. I feel today, after a very rough week, that I could turn cartwheels and dance for joy with God. This wound brings me to God's heart and His feet, as well as to Jesus because it was their love that I needed more than anything else in this world to heal my heart. I cannot even put into words that need so huge is it but yet at the same time, so healing is letting them help me and sharing that love and suffering with them.

It's like when a person releases one single tear, knowing that one tear can mean more than 10,000. This is a tear of gratitude, of love, of suffering and mostly, of sharing that love with the greatest love my heart has ever known. This tear though, comes from the eyes but more importantly, this tear, comes from the heart, and not only mine but from God's as well, as they combine into one single tear. 

God restores me daily to His ideal and brings me back to the love and joy that I felt as a child, but wiser perhaps, and definitely more free than I have been in a very long time. Wow. That's a miracle for me. 


                                                                           Dance with me Jesus.

I got sick at the same time. I knew this was coming as I felt it for at least a week prior. I also felt my energies shift and I felt Jesus and Father helping me the whole time. They never left me alone. When we release huge energies, even with love, healing takes place. It also though, can release toxins and illness from the bodily tissues as emotions suppressed are also held in the body when we do not know how to deal with them. So, I had one of the highest fevers I have ever had. My whole body ached more than ever and I slept the whole night and most of the next day. As usual though, with a healing reaction (not an illness or disease - they are different and a healing reaction usually lasts three days or less) I woke up yesterday morning and felt pretty good. Later that afternoon after some vegetable juices and mineral broth and some fruit, along with the healing that comes from sharing love, I feel like I could dance with even more joy. All of this, thanks to my loving Father and Jesus.



    Go here to see The Abortion Tear

More resources:       Abortion Changes You    A recovery and resource site         Founded in 1990, the National Office of Post-Abortion Reconciliation and Healing, Inc. networks researchers and psychotherapeutic professionals working in the field within the U.S. and abroad, consults on the formation of post-abortion support services within secular and religious settings including Project Rachel, provides training for care providers, maintains a national "800" referral line for those seeking assistance in reconciling an abortion experience, publishes the International Post-Abortion Support Services Directory, produces and vends audio, video, and printed materials, maintains an annotated book list, tracks support group models, and sponsors the Healing Vision conference at Marquette University.     A site for  men       Rachel’s Vineyard

Rachel's Vineyard is therapy for the soul. Participants, who have been trapped in anger toward themselves or others, experience forgiveness. Peace is found. Lives are restored. A sense of hope and meaning for the future is finally re-discovered.

Project Rachel is the post-abortion healing ministry of the Catholic Church. It was founded in 1984 in the Archdiocese of Milwaukee by Vicki Thorn. At this time, Project Rachel is in more than 110 diocese in the United States with more ministries forming.

This diocesan based ministry is composed of a network of specially trained clergy, spiritual directors and therapists who provide compassionate one-on-one care to those who are struggling with the aftermath of abortion. Project Rachel is designed to provide confidential and skilled help to each individual who comes to the ministry.

Project Rachel is an outreach of the Catholic Church, but it is open to anyone who is struggling after an abortion loss. It is able to help women and men; parents, grandparents, siblings, friends and others whose lives have been impacted by an abortion loss.



  God's tear.


    Perhaps if we can help people to learn the value of their own life and their value to God ... then they will value the lives of others as well.


Photo taken on Ash Wednesday [2/10/16] at a clinic where abortions are performed. I was saying the rosary and another lady on the corner was praying, but I don't know what she was saying. I asked God for a photo with something that might help others to see that God cares or something to show people that the world might want to think differently about the practice of abortions. See the huge ray of light present when prayers are being said. Clinic entrance is on the second floor just to the left of where the light ray is coming down.


180 “33 minutes that will rock your world”


Women’s Suicide Rates Highest After Abortion: New Study

Compared to women who have not been pregnant in the prior year, deaths from suicide, accidents and homicide are 248 percent higher in the year following an abortion, according to a new 13-year study of the entire population of women in Finland.


Although pregnancy weakens suicidal impulses, there is strong evidence that abortion dramatically increases the risk of suicide. According to a 1986 study by researchers at the University of Minnesota, a teenage girl is 10 times more likely to attempt suicide if she has had an abortion in the last six months than is a comparable teenage girl who has not had an abortion.[2] Other studies have found similar statistical significance between a history of abortion and suicide attempts among adults. Thus, the actual data suggests that abortion is far more likely to drive an unstable woman to suicide than is pregnancy and childbirth.

This abortion/suicide link is well known among professionals who counsel suicidal persons.

Just as a suicidal person is crying out for help when she tells others she wishes she were dead, so a woman who is distressed over a pregnancy is crying out for help when she tells others she is considering abortion. In both cases, the desperate person is reaching out in the hope that someone will announce they truly care, and will truly help them. They need to see the value of life, their own as well as their child's, reflected in the love of those who would help them preserve that life. They need to hear that they are strong enough to triumph in the life that is theirs, and that whenever they grow weak, we will be there to strengthen them and even carry them.

This requires us to engage in "costly love," a love that demands a real sacrifice of time, energy, and resources. Anything less, they will interpret as "You don't really care." Anything less, and they will be right.


Some questions to ponder:

If someone believes something to be true does that make it true?

                For example, even if you believe the Earth is flat, does that make it true?

   Even if someone believes that a fetus does not yet have a soul and that it is only bits and pieces of tissue, does that make it true?

 Can we be pro-life and pro-choice at the same time when the practice of abortion is for the taking of a life? 

      What started this page [Questions to think about] was that someone sent me a poster of a woman's body with a wire hanger next to it which read "This should never be a surgical instrument. We will not go back." While I do not feel that wire hangers should  be a surgical instrument for women, meaning back-alley and self-induced abortions, the practice of abortion takes the life of an unborn child and  a soul lives in the growing fetus. I have been shown this again and again and again by God, not always in a pleasant manner, by experiencing my own intense struggles for life in this world. At the same time, He has shown me again and again and again, the value of my life to Him and how much I am loved.

God has shown me again and again and again how valuable each and every life is and I have had to fight for my own life in many ways and for a long time because of my choices and the damage I did to myself out of those choices, no matter the reason. Life came around to teach me how to value my own life and have respect for myself and for others as a result. I learned some very valuable lessons about life and love along the way but I never could have done it without God's help and ever-loving support.

Anyone else out there feel the same way or had some similar experiences?

Has anyone else  who chose abortion had to fight for their life or feel that God has shown them the value of their life by having to fight for it against cancer, heart disease, depression, sadness, accidents, trauma, a death, an illness or injury to or in a child or anything else?

Has anyone that has chosen to have an abortion experienced any endometriosis, fibroid tumors, intense cramping, ovarian cancer, cervical cancer, breast cancer or any problems with any of your reproductive organs? This is because this is the area of the body that the abortion will affect for the most part, but also and especially, any actions like this can affect the heart. Any heart problems anyone after an abortion?

Of course everyone is different but my symptoms  showed up as fibroid tumors and pain, leaving only after I let God help me release the pain and emotional issues and some nutritional and other work. 

We might very well, if we do not take some steps in a more loving direction, have to fight as a country, a world or individually, for our very lives, in some way, shape or form as a result of the practice of abortion. 


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